Maybe we're degenerates, maybe we're wired a little loose or maybe we're just really super smart. Anyway you cut it, Sam Rothstein Jr. and I recently proved that there literally isn't ever a 15 minute period of time where you couldn't be making a wager on something during a night out on the town.
If you've seen the show I Bet You then you may feel like we are just copying. (Ed. Note: I Bet You is a show about the lives of best friends and professional poker players Phil "The Unabomber" Laak and Antonio "The Magician" Esfandiari as they wandered the streets of America betting and daring each other on anything and everything that inspired them, using their own money)
But the reality is, we proved a mundane evening at a local watering hole can be transformed into a spectacular Vegas fueled rager that leaves you breathless and probably rich. If not rich, then probably fulfilled with countless stories bordering on hilarity, where you and your wagering partner have plenty of cheap laughs.
For proof, here is a log of wagers that Sam Rothstein Jr. and I recently made during a normal Saturday evening where we visited a few standard bars. We weren't focused on volume of wagers but rather the quality and what we were left with is steady action that would make any random degenerate, who spends 7 nights a week at Hoosier Park betting on the ponies, salivate.
#1- 1 Unit ($10) on whether the bartender will ask for my ID. Result: She doesn't proving once again that I'm way to old to be going to bars in the hip district of Indianapolis past 6:00pm. (Ed. Note: The mere fact that Tom uses "hip" proves he's an old bastard)
#2- 1 Unit that the left fielder for the University of Oregon will either strikeout, walk or get hit by a pitch. Result: He grounds out to second and I'm down a quick 2 units.
#3- 2 units on a coin flip during commercial break from the baseball game. Result: Tails never fails and I'm back to even. The swings are awesome when you will accept a coin flip bet at a moments notice. (Ed. Note: Sam and Tom spent 4 hours one evening wagering on low rent cage fights at the Indianapolis fairground,only to risk the net difference on a coin flip in the parking lot after the fights)
#4- 1 unit over/under on the # of times we could ask the bar tender to turn up the jukebox before we are told "no" or there is a stern refusal. Sam sets the total at 2.5. I take the over. Result: After the 2nd time, the heavily tattooed bar back grunts and waves us off. (Ed. Note: I protested the bet as I had no control over what song was playing. I guess when you ask somebody to turn up a Brittany Spears song more then twice you will be scorned.)
#5- 2 units on whether or not I could use "The House of Batiotis" in a normal conversation with somebody outside of our party without them asking questions or making some type if inquisitive remark. Result: I successfully work in "The House of Batiotis" into two conversations. "All are welcome to the house of Batiotis" and "It's hotter then the House of Batiotis in here!". (Ed note: For those of you who aren't familiar with the Starz cable tv show "Spartacus" I suggest you go to netflix and rent the first season. Violent, soft porn at it's best)
#6- 1 Unit over/under on the waitresses age. This is a common bet that we always seem to make. A lot of times its a set up so that I can take the opportunity to guess way over leaving the young waitress broken and low on self esteem. This plays perfect to Sam's strengths and he can swoop in as the good cop and make amends. Sam sets the total at 28 (Ed note: The girl is clearly under 22). I guess within one mila-second of him making the total, "OVER, WAAAAY OVER!". The waitress, flabbergasted, says she just turned 21 and I act like I'm completely floored. Result: I take one for the team leaving us even.
#7- 3 units (Ed note: The unit total usually goes up the later in the evening it gets and the more drinks Sam and Tom have had) on a NCAA Div II softball game. Result: Not sure.
#8- 5 units on over/under for people in the bar with mustaches. Sam sets the total at 6 and I take the under. Result: After finding our first duster, laughing and pointing, we are engaged in a terse conversation with the self proclaimed fire fighter causing us to forget about the bet.
#9- 3 units on over/under for # of skin terminations that I can achieve in a one hour period. (Ed. Note: "Skin termination" is when two people blatantly telegraph an enthusiastic high five and/or fist bump and Tom anticipates and breaks up the exchange while shouting "SKIN TERMINATOR!!!!".) I take the over, obviously over confident in my skills. Result: Apparently, after midnight, people don't appreciate you stalking their conversations waiting to abruptly break in and shut down a high five. Way under.
#10. Final bet of the evening before the looming black out, 10 units on a coin flip. Result: Tails fails and I'm down triple digits in a hurry.
#11. Ok, just one more. 15 units on the coin flip. Result: Tails is back. We're even again, or at least we agree to be even so the betting can stop for the night!!!!