1.) I will watch most of the games on mute because A.) The announcers are bloody terrible. B.) Those kazoo’s bring back memories of my 5th birthday party marred by a drunken clown incident.
2.) The ESPN halftime coverage would do well to include Charles Barkley and Bill Walton. The intentional and unintentional comedy would reach grand proportions with this dynamic duo.
3.) Blanco is my new favorite player because he reminds me of drunken over 40 neighbor who would join in the back yard tee ball games. He would have a beer belly and really tried to hustle but kids would run circles around him.
4.) I will always root for the African side in any world cup game. A.) They are fun to watch as they always have some skilled on the ball players. B.) Their goal celebrations are better then a Ocho Cinco TD.
5.) ESPN should go to picture and picture, one of the pitch and the second of the closest local bar or cantina where rowdy fans are gathered to cheer for their favorite side.
6.) Sal Masakela gets to go to all the cool cultural events. You know he’s got the weed connect in every city in the world.
7.) ESPN needs to hold an interview in the stands with the drunkest fan every 15 minutes. In general, I think this segment should be added to every live game broadcast in any sport. I mean, look at the views the Joe Namath interview got when he was the drunkest guy ever on the sidelines of an NFL game.
8.) Soccer should allow fighting similar to the NHL. If I run into some guy and he flops to the ground to fake an injury, I think its justified to land a few hey makers.
9.) This world cup will be full of upsets. If Maradonna doesn't take off his pants during a game, that would be considered the biggest upset, right?
10.) I can't wait for the U.S vs. England contest. Anytime the fate of the entire country is riding on a sporting event, count me in to watch. If the U.S pulls the upset, the Euro might drop .50 cents on the dollar. (That's a lot for you currency dummies).