Bohogan.com received this email from one of our contributing lifestyle consultants Chazz Speedman.  In living a bohogan lifestyle, just as important as it is to make sure you are an active gambler, it is equally as important to be able to light up anyone from whom you took gambling advise and lost. 

Chazz Speedman email to bohogan.com:
Similar to Bo Hogan I too have been hiding out Bin Laden style waiting for just the right time to re-emerge with some new message to deliver to our vast audience.

Ironically I’ve been consumed by this whole career thing (see my previous post) which I’m sure will be over shortly. I’ve managed to con a large company that I’m a valuable employee and a real asset. Needless to say my family celebrates my accomplishments monthly by lighting my old unemployment check stubs on fire and throwing them at me. Can you feel the love?

While I’m hiding out in corporate America like the rest of you slobs, I’ve been focused on my real career…degenerate gambler. If it’s not poker online it’s sports gambling. I decided to take some Don Trotter’s advice last week. (He can be quite convincing after 10 Jager Bombs and 8 Guinness drafts. Yes Don, I still have fond memories.) However as a modern day version of Jimmy the Greek, you, my friend are horrible. I lost big time on Saturday and Sunday, but that’s why we have Monday to win it all back and make it rain like PacMan at a strip club.

So I decided to ask my nephew (pictured above) to pick 5 college games to see who’s a better prognosticator, did I mention he’s 4… (Ed. Note: While bohogan.com confirms Chazz's nephew is 4, for full disclosure purposes, we did confirm that he has above average cognitive abilities for that age.  Rumor has it he is friends with the little baby in the etrade commercials who plays golf with shankapotimis!)

Here are my baby nephews picks.  We'll see if he does better then Trotter!!
Indiana at Northwestern (-5.5)

Last week Don took Illinois over the Hoosiers.  Illinois is quite possibly the worst team in major college football and they lost by 13. So based on the lack of skill it takes to become a prognosticator, I held out two crayons: crimson and purple. He picked purple. So there you have it, lock it in, Northwestern covers the 5.5. Pick: Purple crayon to cover.

Georgia Tech (-5.5) at Virginia

Virginia Tech was embarrassed last week by the Rambling Wreck. The Yellow Jackets threw the ball exactly 1 time…the whole game. This time I showed him a picture of Ga Tech’s mascot “Buzz” and then pointed to a Coldwater Cavalier football helmet to simulate the Virginia side.  He loved Buzz to cover the 5.5 and so should you. Pick: "Buzz" the mascot to cover

 

 Connecticut at West Virginia (-7.5)

This game is interesting for 2 reasons: 1) The mountaineer mascot. Nothing says white trash like a coon skin hat. 2) University of Connecticut sponsored parties must be off the chain…RIP Jasper!  My future parenting skills really should be questioned as I show our young prognosticator a knife and a wife beater. He grabs the shirt and throws it in the air. That’s good enough for me.  West Virginia wears Kevlar Uniforms sponsored by Nike and celebrates by drinking copious amounts of Everclear. Pick: West Virginia wife beater t-shirt and everclear.

Boston College (+8) at Notre Dame

Am I the only one who calls Charlie Weis by his real name, Moose Knuckle? His pompous attitude and arrogance makes Catholics everywhere sick. This one is tough b/c my young friend is becoming un-amused and wrestless with my little charade. I show him a cross and a Red Sox hat. He puts that hat on faster than you can say Doug Flutie.  Notre Dame has been in close games all year long and I suspect this will be no different based on the smile on this kids face. BC covers like a Snuggie. Pick: Boston teams, skin flutie and snuggies!!!

 

Oregon State vs USC (O/U 50.5)

I love money and apparently so do the Trojans. Yes, I like saying Trojans it makes think of a simpler time. I’m not a sick-o and didn’t show the kid a box of Trojans. I simply asked him over or under. He points up and says over. I see this kid getting a lifetime supply of Trojans after these selections. Matt Barkley and crew put up 6 TD’s and allow 2. Unless something’s changed since I cheated my way through college, more specifically business calculus, that’s 56 points. Pick: Lots of points; protected sex and solid math!