Common Nighthawk, Chordeiles minor
Obviously if you are living a bo hogan lifestyle, the bare minimum is 2 trips a year to Vegas. There is no better venue in the world where you can practice all the lifestyle tips that we've dedicated ourselves to providing via this blog. In honor of the trip to the city of sin that bo hogan lifestyle consultants participated in the last week in May, I decided to alter the format a bit for the T-Mobile "loosely sponsored" segment and throw out the top 5 weird conversations that I over heard or participated in while in Las Vegas. **WARNING & DISCLOSURE: THE CONVERSATIONS AND QUICK EXCHANGES PUBLISHED HERE OFTEN WERE A RESULT OF DEEP SLEEP DEPRIVATION AND BLATANT IRRESPONSIBILITY ON THE PART OF WAIT STAFF AND BAR TENDERS IN VARIOUS CASINOS WHO FELT COMPELLED TO OVER SERVE THE SUBJECTS"
5.) Location: NYNY Hotel and Casino Room 783 Time: 8:08am Saturday May 30
Hammer: (Storming in the room looking obviously disheveled and out of sorts, having not slept)
"Holy sh*t, what the hell happened last night! Last time I saw you, you were using the table games as an ATM machine to go play $10 slots."
Rothstein Jr: (Just waking up looking and smelling like a hand rolled cigarette) "I don't know but I need to shower up and then go get some breakfast"
Hammer: "Why in the hell would you shower, you look and smell great.....I think I pissed my pants!"
4.) Location: Leroy's Sports Book Tropicana Casino Time: 5:38pm Friday May 29
Degenerate: (Sitting in Leroy's staring at the array of 19 and 20 inch rear projection old school tv's all with different color contrasts, looking like he'd been sitting there since nam' still waiting for his big pay day) "Yeah, I kind of like the Astro's to beat the Diamondbacks in that baseball game. Looks like Baker is pitching for the Stro's, you know anything about that guy!"
Hammer: (Having no clue who "Baker" is and trying not to laugh at this guy who clearly wants to put his life savings on a baseball game between two of the worst teams in baseball) "Oh yea, Baker, he's tough! Good off speed stuff and a hard inside slider to right handers!"
Degenerate: (Eyes wide open, as if staring at an already scratched off winning lottery ticket) "Hell yeah, I knew it. I'm going 5 large on that bad boy" (Degenerate staggers to the counter and stares at the dry erase board with all the lines and promptly lays down a large wad of cash claiming Astro's to win)
Hammer: (Gets in line directly behind the degenerate and waits his turn at the window) "I'll take the Diamondbacks to cover. Who the hell is Baker?"
Leroys Employee: (Laughing and shaking his head)
3.) Location: O' Sheas Casino Time: 1:30am Sunday May 31
Hammer: (Three full Coors Lites sitting in front of him, clearly hammered at the Texas Hold Em' Table Game, listening to a band that is way to loud for the small casino. Some innocent patron walks up and takes a seat at the table, looking dead sober and focused on the task of winning his rent back) "Hey TURD!"
Innocent Guy: (Hand cupped to ear, straining to hear Hammer) "WHAT?"
Hammer: (Leaning in as if to say something important) "Turd right? Is it Turd?"
Innocent Guy: (Confused) "I still don't get it?"
Hammer: (Screaming) "IS YOUR NAME TURD?"
Innocent Guy: (Definitely perplexed) "No its John......"
Hammer: (Satisfied) "Oh, I thought it was Turd...sorry John!" (No a hint of sarcasm)
2.) Location: O'Sheas Casino Time: 1:41am Sunday May 31
Dealer: (Addressing Hammer at the table) Sir, sir, it's your turn. Sir, it's on you. Excuse me....sir?
Rothstein Jr.: (Dead serious, motioning the dealer to come closer) Yea, he probably won't respond unless you call him Night Hawk!
Dealer: (Pissed off and quickly losing patience) Come on sir....
Rothstein Jr: (Shaking his head adamantly)
Hammer: (Head down, staring into his lap)
Dealer: (Not amused) "Ok....what would you like to do NIGHT HAWK!"
Hammer: (Quickly coming to life, and immediately placing chips on the board) "I can only act when you address me as Night Hawk!"
Dealer: (Not impressed, shaking head) Ok, whatever you say Mr. Night Hawk.
Pit Boss: (Coming back with a color up of chips for Hammer. Dealer stops her and whispers in her ear. PIt Boss stares at Hammer looking confused) "Here you go.....Night Hawk!" (Pushing the chips towards Hammer)
1.) Location: O'Sheas Casion Time: 1:45am Sunday May 31
Rothstein Jr: (bobbing his head to the rhythm of the very loud band, severely impaired by the numerous long island ice teas. Addressing dealer) "So where are you from?"
Same Dealer: "Ethiopia."
Rothstein Jr: (Nodding with his approval. Awkward couple minutes of silence as the band finishes their set, the dealer still shuffling but staring at Rothstein waiting for a reply. Rothstein head on a swivel and then coming back to make eye contact with dealer) "Do you guys get any good Ethiopian bands in here?"
Night Hawk: (A fountain of beer comes spouting out of his nose, definitely caught off guard. Hunched over laughing) "Cmon dude"
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