In honor of our favorite sports columnist Bill Simmons The Sports Guy, who is one of our site partners, we felt compelled to generate our first readers mailbag. I realize that we are only four posts deep in terms of providing unsolicited lifestyle consulting but I feel that these readers really capture the essence of what bohogan.com is about and thus are a good reference to what we hope to provide in terms of service and support. Bohogan lifestyle can not be characterized by a single thought like Gisele Bundchen can: HOT!!!!. We are more like a fine wine where the subtle hints of different aroma can lead you down a path of speculation as to where the grapes come from. At least that's what I hear expert wine drinkers can do. I guess in reality, bohogan is nothing like a fine wine because we don't drink that weak sh*t. Maybe I should have used bourbon as the point of reference. At any rate, I think you'll get our point as you read our astute reader posts:
1.) Bill Menchofer from Peoria, Illinois writes:
Q: "Is it okay to high step down a street, naked, wearing only football helmets in a level 3 snow emergency after drinking a beer after every touchdown in a 63-24 blowout? Please I need to know if this fits the Bo Hogan lifestyle!
A: Bill I'm glad you bring this up because I was contemplating this the other day. The answer is yes. First off you are turning a sporting event into a drinking game which in of itself is always a good idea. Second, your willingness to battle the elements in a quest to be naked because you are drunk is honorable. The answer is yes.
2.) Rob Handerson from Carmel, IN writes:
Q: "The other day I had an argument with a co-worker on whether or not it is acceptable to use sports references in a business meeting. For example, our department is struggling to stay out of the red and we are searching for ways to cut the budget sort of like the Super Bowl bud light commercial. I said, "I think we should fire Ted Nelson, he is kind of like Jamal Tinsley to the Pacers, no production but we pay a big salary while he goes out and gets drunk at strip clubs and fires his gun off like Yosimite Sam!!" Is this acceptable?"
A: Uh, where to I start here Rob. I think it really depends if your boss is a Pacers fan. If you know he bleeds blue and gold, then I bet Ted is packing his sh*t up as we speak. In general, its not so much whether using sports analogies is appropriate in a business meeting but knowing your audience is a must.
3.) Skip Jenkins from Pandora Gilboa, OH writes:
Q: "I need some lifestyle consulting. My friends are making fun of me because we had a formal dinner event to attend and I wore my cowboy hat and boots. I had a skinny string tie on though and a collared shirt with my wranglers. I feel it is ok to express my country heritage. Thoughts?
A: You may need more then lifestyle consulting there Tex. Unless you are attending the rodeo, I'd advise against sporting your hat and boots in public. That said, growing up country is not a bad thing and I encourage everyone to stick to their roots. But if your roots consist of cowboy boots, then don't feel bad about modifying that approach.
4.) Byron Gladden from Indianapolis, IN writes:
Q: "I live a very hectic life due to my work schedule. I'm always on the phone at all hours and am constantly on the go. For ease of use, and comfort, I choose to wear a blue tooth in my ear. This fits my lifestyle and I think it looks cool. What does Bo Hogan think?
A: Bare with me because I have a lot of pent up frustrations on this one. ANYBODY WHO WEARS A BLUE TOOTH IN THEIR EAR WHILE OUT IN PUBLIC SHOULD BE RIDICULED, MOCKED, LAUGHED AND POINTED AT!! In the car, at the airport or while in the office is one thing and that is somewhat acceptable. But in a restaurant, or at a club or bar, at a house party or sporting event, there is nothing more annoying then somebody rocking a blue tooth. Oh, it gives you status alright. Official big league turd status!!! I need an aspirin.
5.) Dusty Wallace from Talladega, FL writes:
Q: My friends and I are in our 30's and single. We really for the most part want nothing to do with a relationship but are getting to that point in our lives where while prepared to go through life unmarried, we are still wanting to have kids. I want to have that son that I can teach, coach and work with to become a star athlete and maybe get paid some day. How can I do that without having to settle into a marriage?
A: Dusty, you've come to the right place. Here is the plan. I assume that you and your friends like to frequent the clubs and night spots on the weekends and get absolutely hammered doing Jager bombs while standing in a group ogling the ladies but never make a move because your scared or insecure. I have an idea for you. Create a fictitious event and call it something that lines up with some type of sporting event, (eg. The Breeders Cup). Make business cards with the event name, phone number and address and all the necessary information for attending. Go to the bar, and be on the look out for ladies who are 5'9 and up and look like they can run a 4.3 forty and bench press an ox. Those are your breeders. They are the ones who can support a reproduction process that will bare you your super star athlete. The goal is to get as many of those "breeders" invited to the party as possible. Make it seem like a real exclusive event but make sure to tell them to dress casual. Casual enough to run the shuttle drill, standing long jump and 40 meter dash. You getting the drift? Then, come time of the event, you require the "contestants" to perform the drills to gain entry to the party. The rest is really pretty simple. You just have to convince them to sleep with you, bare children illegitimately, and let you keep the child no strings attached. Maybe make low self esteem one of the "breeder" criteria. **Note: Bo Hogan is not advocating in the least bit the mistreatment of women nor are we downplaying the intelligence of the female. The scheme is really a joke played on Dusty and his turd friends. We've never actually tried to implement this scheme in any way at all. Nor have we even spent more then 5 hours in a board room discussing the potential of such idea.)
Since bohogan.com has only been operational for a few weeks, we really only have five readers it appears but I hope you enjoyed the Q&A. Feel free to use the contact us, to submit your bohogan lifestyle questions.
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