Based on the toilet paper in my trees, eggs dripping off my windows and plastic forks in my yard I'm guessing the betting public was less then thrilled with the gambling advice laid forward here on the web site thus far. 
Current Standings:
THE Don Trotter: 1-3
bohogan consultant staff: 1-2

But like Dickie V. said in his emotion stirring speech, "don't give up...don't ever give up!" (Ed. Note: Tom Hammer was caught weeping in front of his pc, dozens of times during Jimmie V. week as he replayed the ESPY speech)

Don Trotter will be back with some super stone cold pipe hitting locks that are guaranteed to pay for your Xmas and then some.  There are some serious leans right now in the direction of "the U", Arkansas, UCLA and some hard hitting over/under calls.  Stay tuned.

The staff (Hammer and Rothstein Jr.) would like to bring forward a Xmas eve special tonight just for those dedicated readers who have taken the time on Xmas eve to actually read this site.  I think there were 100 hits yesterday in looking at the stats so I appreciate those of you who are accidentally navigating to our cite while you were really trying to access your bodog.com account.

Christmas Eve Special:
Nevada-13 over SMU- The Mustangs are in a bowl game for the first time it seems since Eric Dickerson and his rec spec goggles donned a red and blue uniform.  Their defense is as soft as a hershey kiss in the summer and even though Nevada will be missing 2,000 yards worth of rushing in the form of injuries, I literally think they could plug in a polio stricken sailor and rush for 200.  This game may set the record for points in the game.  The over/under is currently set at 72 and is tempting to take the over.  Nevada's defensive backs remind me of five #22 McDonalds from the Cleveland Browns.

On a side note, have you ever seen a player that is so bad, #22 McDonald, that you have to wonder whether the player has some serious black mail information on a coach hence the extended amounts of PT that player is getting.  I think Brandon #22 McDonald has some photo's of Eric Mangini that would make Oscar Delahoya's lingirie escapades look like Good House Keeping fodder. 

At any rate, take the Wolfpack and lay the points.  I don't care if June Jones makes his return to Hawaii, was that guy ever a good coach anyway? 
 
 
Here's the rub, the scoop the shizzle. 

In an effort to give our readers a chance to get a jump start on recouping that money you just spent on the sham-wow or snuggie for your loved one, we want to post Don Trotter's exclusive college bowl picks. 


For grins and giggles, Sam Rothstein and myself will provide our own personal picks, if anything to show you how professional Mr. Trotter actually is vs. the two of us who are really semi-professionals more adept at performing bookie services vs. actually capping games ourselves.

We will keep a running record of The Don's picks as always.  It takes a great deal of testicular fortitude to make your plays public but the Don just has that kind of make up.  He is a pit bull, dirt eating, muscular, snake biting, bear kicking, cage fighter who also happens to be smart, handsome, and magical.  (Ed. Note: Whoa, WTF?)

Here's the picks:

The DON!!


Fresno - 11 vs. Wyoming  O/U 55

I know Fresno St has a pretty good running back, but other than that?  Wyoming did get whipped by BYU, Texas and TCU, but Fresno is not in their category.  As for the teams Wyoming has beaten, well to be blunt about it, they have all been fucking terrible.   Fresno started out 1-3, but played Cincy, Boise and Wisconsin.  I know just looking at schedules can be pretty deceiving,  but it seems Fresno is the better team.  I know 11 is a lot of points, but Fresno played Wisconsin and Illinois down to the wire.  Those two games stick out at me because I would assume Wyoming just don’t have the athletes the Badgers and Zookers have.  I will lay the points, and take Fresno -11.  With that said, I like the over/under as a much better bet.  Both defenses are ranked at the bottom in scoring defense, giving up 30 points a game.  Fresno is ranked a top the NCAA in scoring offense, 14th, scoring 34.3.  I think it could be a relatively high scoring game and will take the over 55. Mark it:  Fresno -11 & O55


Hammer and Rothstein Jr!!

This just in, Fresno is really only a stones throw from Vegas.  We looked it up on Google Maps and you can literally get their by car, bus or public transit (Greyhound).  After arguing about whether Greyhound is public transit or mass transit, and then agreeing that "who gives a rats a$$", we settled in on the fact that its doubtful that the best athletes in Wyoming play football.  They ride bulls and hog tie steers.  That said, we like Fresno to laso these Cowboys.  Mark it:  Fresno -11.

THE DON!!!!


Central Florida +2.5 vs. Rutgers O/U 44.5

I know a bit more about both these teams than Fresno/Wyoming. (Ed Note: It's a proven fact that the more you drink the more you know!) I watched both of these teams play a couple times this season.  Central Florida was able to beat Houston and their passing attack, and although the score isn’t indicative of the actual game, they actually played “The U” pretty tough as well.  Rutgers played some pretty good teams solid this year, however, I am not sold on their Freshman quarterback.  In the games I watched, when he played against good defenses, he struggled.  Central Florida’s defense is very good, ranked 4th in the Nation against the run.  I think Central Florida will stack the box and make Savage beat them and I don’t think he will.  I like the dog and will take Central Florida +2.5. Mark it:  Central Florida +2.5


Hammer and Rothstein Jr!!

Interesting that C. Floriday played the "U" tough.  On a side note that ESPN 30/30 episode on the "U" made me want to set up a smoke machine in my basement for when I play EA Sports College Football 2004.  On to the game at hand, I also learned this week that Michael Jordan's son Marcus plays for the Central Florida basketball team.  The similarities stop at the name on the jersey b/c Marcus wears rec specs and hiked up socks with knee pads. He looks like a dorky Buck Ewing. But seriously, in consideration of this football game, Rutgers is in New Jersey right?  Isn't Atlantic city in Jersey?  We love the boardwalk so we love Rutgers to cover.Mark It: Rutgers -2.5


THE DON!!!!


Southern Miss -3.5 vs. Middle Tenn. St. O/U 58.5

You can literally flip a coin on this game.  Both teams averages, offensively and defensively, are just about the same, as are their ranks in the nation in those categories.  This game will probably go down to the wire, maybe who has the ball last.  The over/under seems high, considering both defenses seem to be a bit better than the offenses.  With that said, I haven’t seen either team play and wouldn’t bet either the spread or the over/under with Tiger Wood money that he spends on hookers.  But if I HAVE to make a selection, I would take the under 58.5.  If I had to pick the winner, I would take Southern Miss -3.5, Mark it:  Under 58.5


Hammer and Rothstein Jr

Man, is Middle Tenn St. in a bowl game?  We're talking about Middle Tenn St. in a bowl game?  In a BOWL game!!!  Look, we could be sitting here talking about any ol' game but we're talking about a BOWL game.  Not Tennesse, Not Kentucky, Not Tennesee St. but Middle Tenn State.  In a BOWL game.  I'm a franchise player and we're in here talking about this team in a bowl game?  Middle Tenn St?  If Don Trotter says their in a bowl game, then their in a bowl game that's it!  But we're in here talking about Middle Tn  Mark it:  Southern Miss -3.5
 
 
Picture
Tom Hammer here, and like Herb Dean in the UFC, I'm here to step in between the boiling feud that has enveloped Leroys Lounge during the college football gambling season and bring some clarity and fairness of measure to this flaming situation between Don Trotter and Chazz Speedman.  Because as all my friends know, I'm firm but I'm fair!!!

First and foremost, bohogan lifestyle consultants, are always here to help our knowledge thirsty readers and with heavy degenerate gambling being a cornerstone to every bohogan lifestyle, we hope that the open dialog between Mr. Trotter and Chazz Speedman has served beneficial in helping you cap your college football score card. 

If you lost tons of money on any of the picks that failed to hit, my advise to you is move far away from whatever bookie you owe or if you bet online I'd advise beginning the process to change your identify.  Both are completely legitimate ways to handle your $$ problems.  More than likely, the astute readers of this blog are probably up thousands of dollars and have plans in the work to host a Monte Carlo night in their basement.

Now, as it involves our two controversial cappers, I feel 100% obligated to provide complete transparency to how the football season ended.  In all fairness to Mr. Trotter, on the date of November 11 on a Friday afternoon he did send an email containing several picks that he requested me to post on bohogan.com.  At that time he felt that, Chazz Speedman's fast and furious and often times morally sick views of the college football season had run their course and it was time for a professional to step in.  I received this email and did not take action.  Bohogan lifestyle consultant sr. vice president and manager of gambling operations, Sam Rothstein Jr., received these picks as well.  Myself and Sam had a mix up, I was extremely busy that weekend probably entertaining guests, or on a trip out of town or on house arrest, but never the less, I was busy.  To be truthful, I can't remember what I did yesterday none the less on November 11, 2009. 

At any rate, the point of this is to bring full awareness to our online community that Mr. Trotter did submit the following email.

"Also, for kicks and giggles, I ran a 10 game $10 parlay.  I added that parlay at the end.  I don’t have a lock this week, because I don’t feel really, really good about any one game this week.  With that said, I do “like” the games in my parlay.
$10 Parlay pays out $8,266.08

Indy -1.5

Eagles -3

Houston -23.5

USF – 11.5

UNC +3.5

Arkansas -11.5

Penn St. -3

Texas Tech/OU over 53

Florida/Florida Int. Over 54

Army +2:"

As fate would have it, the Don of all Don's, Trotter hit all 10 of these games and pocketed a cool 9k.  When we learned of his success, bohogan consultants first action was to obviously congratulate Mr. Trotter and then immediately ask for a loan.

I know the natural response of the readership will be that of outrage as in theory, we all missed the chance to hit a ten team parlay.  And to that all I can say is, "I bet I can throw this football over that mountain!!!!"

Prior to the email on November 11 regarding the picks, Don also submitted an opinion based post around his love/contempt for gambling.  One can only assume that after hitting that 10 teamer, gambling is definitely back in love status with Don Trotter.

As for Chazz, I'm sure we haven't heard the last from him.  I'm too lazy to go back and add up his total record for him and that creepie smoke and drink loving baby but I'm sure it was impressive.  Even more importantly, that guy sure brings a strong opinion to balance out that of the Don and the fireworks and verbal sparring are worth the price of admission.

The last reason I share with you this totally unsubstantiated, outside of Sam Rothstein Jr. and myself, success story is to stir up the optimism that bohogan followers need to have as the college football bowl season approaches.  When general people refer to the holiday season they most probably are referencing the fact that Xmas approaches followed by the unbridled enthusiasm for the new year.  bohogan lifestyle consultants call it the holidays because its college football bowl season and its time to get paid.

That said, be on the look out for Don Trotters college bowl picks.

Happy Holidays (a.k.a Hit a big ass parlay!!!)

P.S.  I'm also working on a new "Readers Reach Around" post that deals with the mail bag from the contact us link.  Hit us up with your bohogan lifestyle comment, question or concern.
 
 
Picture
Welcome to another installment of Leroy's Lounge where two of our top prognosticators have been battling it out for lead guru supremacy.  And in the words of Kenny F'ing Powers, "Whatever it takes to set up a bet off......set that sh*t up!!!!"

First from Chazz sent to Tom Hammer in back to back to back to back to back text messages from a stolen iphone!!

I’m a limousine ridin’, jet flyin’, kiss stealin’, wheelin’ dealin’ son of a gun. WOOOOO!” The little guy kept repeating this to various strippers throughout the night after going 3-2 last Saturday with big dollars on BC to cover and the over on USC.

Who knew the kid loved Red Bull? As Kiki and Annabelle performed various stripper tricks for us to celebrate our winnings my heart went out to those of you who followed Don Trotter’s less than stellar gambling advice.

I respect the guy, really I do. (Not everyone can play DIII college football.) As the night went on, I had what some would call a moment of clarity, it was either that or the fact that I drank 25 Red Bull Vodka’s and ripped down 45 cigarettes for the super buzz. (Key West in the House) (Ed. note: bohogan.com cannot confirm the origins of the super buzz but we've left a voice mail with "birdman" Anderson to confirm)

I shouldn’t chastise Don and his Jim Jones like followers, Scottie McMullen (who?), for believing in a man who, I personally witnessed, knocked a guy out with one punch outside of a Dublin Bar. (The victim subsequently pissed himself…no joke!)

With that said, I’m truly not a fan of gambling on Halloween, too many distractions for the players. If you’re Tim Tebow, and you are playing at the world’s largest outdoor cocktail party, and every girl between 18 and 24 is dressed like slutty nurse, you could lose focus during a 3 hour game. I’m not a big excuses guy so let’s get to it.  

South Carolina (+5.5) at Tennessee
This line makes me feel odd; similar to how I felt the first time I watched hot Brazilian Tranny porn. Yes Lane Kiffin is stuffing UT co-ed’s at an alarming rate, I have no proof, but come on right… UT has played Florida and Alabama close but they still got beat. Jonathon Crumpton sucks…enough said. I like the Ol’ Ball Coach and their defense which could give Florida a scare when they play in Columbia in a few weeks. Trannys and Cocks go hand in hand, pun intended, take the Cocks to explode all over UT with the 5.5. (Ed. Note: We may  have to add an over 18 consent page before entering bohogan.com) Pick: SC and the points.

Georgia Tech (-11.5) at Vanderbilt
Is there anything more exciting than watching Tech run on every down? The answer is yes. But what can you say. Paul Johnson has the boys at Tech running an offense that’s older than Joe Pa and they’ve been waxing their opponents. Other than Jay Cutler, Corey Chavous and Hunter Hilenmeyer name 3 more Vanderbilt players in the NFL. Vanderbilt has exactly 5 players in the Hall of Fame, the last one played in 1937. The Rambling Wreck takes a dump on the smart kids from Nashville and cover the 11.5. Pick: Ga Tech -11.5

Michigan (-7) at Illinois
Juice Williams…what happened. Everyone loved this kid after his sophomore year and now he’s pathetic. Here are some Juice Williams fun facts: he was a 15 lb baby and his head is currently the largest in NCAA history. (Ed. Note: That stat only reflects players, if coaches were included that obviously go to Charlie Weiss) That’s probably why he locks in on one receiver, his head weighs too much. Tate Forcier continues to play unimpressive football and the strength of his arm has been compared to most 4th grade girls. Rich Rod will have his boys focused with a solid ground game and numerous NCAA violations forthcoming; Illinois is bad and UM covers the 7. Pick: UM give the points.

Toledo (-5.5) at Miami OH
Miami is 0 for the season. They are not good. In fact they are absolutely pathetic. Toledo has bounced back nicely after getting murdered by the greatest OSU quarterback in history, Terrelle Pryor. How good is this Pryor? He’s demonstrated his greatness by throwing off his back foot, holding the ball like a glass bong and decision making…don’t even get me started. Where is my Heisman ballot? Someone let me know when this turd actually beats a team worth a damn. Back to Toledo and Miami: Toledo wins simply because the Miami players will be pre-occupied thinking about when the new JCrew catalog will be arriving. “Cattle prod the oyster ditch, with lap rocket,” therfore Toledo covers 5.5. Pick: Toledo givin up the points.

Southern Miss at Houston (-6.5)
How good are the Houston Cougars? No one really knows. They play in Conference USA which is the equivalent to a flag football league. I like Cougars, who doesn’t?  How many times do you think the announcers will mention Brett Favre’s name during the broadcast? I hate Brett Favre and was ecstatic to see him get beat last Sunday by the Super Bowl Champion Pittsburgh Steelers. Last week Don made a reference to Steelers fans being fat, bald with hairy backs. I’d like to respond by saying as a Steeler fan, I have the body of a Greek God and my back is hairless. I shave my head and arm pits because it keeps me more aerodynamic when I fight. I can take danger. Houston makes the Eagles scream for mercy and cover the 6.5. Pick: Houston lay the points

Now for Don, picks sent to Hammer by carrier pigeon.
Hey Tom, here's some picks to consider.  Don't post these picks to the internet god dammit it's bad luck!!!!

South Carolina vs. Tennessee Under 41.5
   
Arkansas -37 vs. E. Michigan
   
Kentucky -3.5 vs. Miss. St
   
Boston College -5.5 vs. C. Michigan
   
Texas Tech -6.5 vs. Kansas
   
Texas A&M - 6 vs. Iowa St
   
Houston -6.5 vs. Southern Mississippi
   
Mississippi -3.5 vs. Auburn
   
Ohio -6.5 vs. Ball St.
   
Michigan St. -3.5 vs. Minnesota
   
New Mexico St +44 vs. OSU
   
Indiana +17.5 vs. Iowa
 


 
 
Picture
Coke bottles and diapers....oh my!!
Ahhhh, how they jump off the bandwagon so quickly.  What do you really say after a losing weekend?  Well, you step back, take a second and start thinking logically.  First and foremost even the best handicappers in the world are roughly 55% to 60% correct,

"Professional sports bettors, by comparison, rarely sustain a long term winning percentage higher than 57 or 58 percent, and it's often as low as 54 or 55 percent. People find that hard to believe, and they understandably get even more skeptical when told that, for a genuine professional-level sports bettor, a long term winning expectation of 60% or more is actually too high." (Ed. Note: The source of this quote is unknown however we believe it was either something Sam Rothstein Jr. muttered in a gin induced stupor or it was in "High Times!"  Which 50% of the time, is 100% accruate, all of the time!)  

In the first two weeks of keeping track, it is in my opinion that a 10-10 record and 3-1 in locks is pretty good.  And if you are solid in your betting pattern, which means putting more money on the locks, then you should be doing just fine, "The measure of success of a sports handicapper is not his percentage of winning bets, but the relative amount of profit he made over any given period of time." (Ed. Note: This quote is literally on one of those motivational posters on Don Trotters ceiling in his bedroom.  I shit you not)  

If I can look back on a bet and feel good about it, its not all that bad. (Ed note: Huh??)  For instance, let's look at the Steelers game.  Although we all know their fans are bald, fat and have lots of back hair, they still should have beaten the Browns by more than 14 right?  One would think.  But two fumbles on back-to-back drives inside their own 20 yard line, while up 13 in the fourth quarter and only needing FG's to cover, makes me proud of that bet.  If it weren't for the incompetence of "Fast" eeerrrr "Fumble" Willie Parker and Reshard Mendenhall, that game covers easily. 

Furthermore, in the Bills game, Trent Edwards had been playing really bad football, but I guess my crystal ball didn't see some turd named "Fitzpatrick" come into the game and play like Joe Montana. 

Lastly, I can still look back on that Texas game and be proud I made the right choice.  Three turnovers in the red zone while leading 16-13, again only needing a FG to cover, suggest I made the correct play.   

With that said, I'm not here to make excuses.  As a gambler you can't.  If you don't like fumbles, turnovers, injuries and phantom penalties that cost you a cover on your bet, then don't bet.  It's all part of the action.  As aforementioned, all you do is take a step back, take a deep breath and move forward toward the next weeks games.  What you don't do is jump off the bandwagon, start calling people "horrible" and then use a child as a tactical comeback (that's just grotesque). (Ed note: That's a shot at you Chazz in case you are drunk, which there is 99% chance that at 6:14pm on a Friday you are!)   

So as of now, I stand an overall 10 & 9 with a push, or 10-10 if you see it that way, and 3-1 in my locks.    Without further delay here is the action.  See if you can draw a correlation (Ed note: This is head to head with Chazz's baby!  Though I'd tee it up!)   
Notre Dame -8
UCONN +7.5
Under USC/Oregon St.
Indiana +5.5  
Virginia +5.5 

LOCK Michigan beats diaper wearing, Coke bottle glasses, can't form complete sentences in a press conference, shit pants, looks like Gargamel from the Smurfs, pee-pee breaks in the middle of games, I stole Where's Waldo's pants, blind, clueless, slobbering, 98 year old JOE Paterno AND his HEAVILY overrated, quarterback looks like a linebacker who can't throw and wears wristbands around his triceps like the Ultimate Warrior, no offense, terrible secondary, we always lose at Michigan, Penn State Football Team.

 
 
Picture
Speedman's Nephew Contimplating the Lines!
Bohogan.com received this email from one of our contributing lifestyle consultants Chazz Speedman.  In living a bohogan lifestyle, just as important as it is to make sure you are an active gambler, it is equally as important to be able to light up anyone from whom you took gambling advise and lost. 

Chazz Speedman email to bohogan.com:
Similar to Bo Hogan I too have been hiding out Bin Laden style waiting for just the right time to re-emerge with some new message to deliver to our vast audience.

Ironically I’ve been consumed by this whole career thing (see my previous post) which I’m sure will be over shortly. I’ve managed to con a large company that I’m a valuable employee and a real asset. Needless to say my family celebrates my accomplishments monthly by lighting my old unemployment check stubs on fire and throwing them at me. Can you feel the love?

While I’m hiding out in corporate America like the rest of you slobs, I’ve been focused on my real career…degenerate gambler. If it’s not poker online it’s sports gambling. I decided to take some Don Trotter’s advice last week. (He can be quite convincing after 10 Jager Bombs and 8 Guinness drafts. Yes Don, I still have fond memories.) However as a modern day version of Jimmy the Greek, you, my friend are horrible. I lost big time on Saturday and Sunday, but that’s why we have Monday to win it all back and make it rain like PacMan at a strip club.

So I decided to ask my nephew (pictured above) to pick 5 college games to see who’s a better prognosticator, did I mention he’s 4… (Ed. Note: While bohogan.com confirms Chazz's nephew is 4, for full disclosure purposes, we did confirm that he has above average cognitive abilities for that age.  Rumor has it he is friends with the little baby in the etrade commercials who plays golf with shankapotimis!)

Here are my baby nephews picks.  We'll see if he does better then Trotter!!
Indiana at Northwestern (-5.5)

Last week Don took Illinois over the Hoosiers.  Illinois is quite possibly the worst team in major college football and they lost by 13. So based on the lack of skill it takes to become a prognosticator, I held out two crayons: crimson and purple. He picked purple. So there you have it, lock it in, Northwestern covers the 5.5. Pick: Purple crayon to cover.

Georgia Tech (-5.5) at Virginia

Virginia Tech was embarrassed last week by the Rambling Wreck. The Yellow Jackets threw the ball exactly 1 time…the whole game. This time I showed him a picture of Ga Tech’s mascot “Buzz” and then pointed to a Coldwater Cavalier football helmet to simulate the Virginia side.  He loved Buzz to cover the 5.5 and so should you. Pick: "Buzz" the mascot to cover

 

 Connecticut at West Virginia (-7.5)

This game is interesting for 2 reasons: 1) The mountaineer mascot. Nothing says white trash like a coon skin hat. 2) University of Connecticut sponsored parties must be off the chain…RIP Jasper!  My future parenting skills really should be questioned as I show our young prognosticator a knife and a wife beater. He grabs the shirt and throws it in the air. That’s good enough for me.  West Virginia wears Kevlar Uniforms sponsored by Nike and celebrates by drinking copious amounts of Everclear. Pick: West Virginia wife beater t-shirt and everclear.

Boston College (+8) at Notre Dame

Am I the only one who calls Charlie Weis by his real name, Moose Knuckle? His pompous attitude and arrogance makes Catholics everywhere sick. This one is tough b/c my young friend is becoming un-amused and wrestless with my little charade. I show him a cross and a Red Sox hat. He puts that hat on faster than you can say Doug Flutie.  Notre Dame has been in close games all year long and I suspect this will be no different based on the smile on this kids face. BC covers like a Snuggie. Pick: Boston teams, skin flutie and snuggies!!!

 

Oregon State vs USC (O/U 50.5)

I love money and apparently so do the Trojans. Yes, I like saying Trojans it makes think of a simpler time. I’m not a sick-o and didn’t show the kid a box of Trojans. I simply asked him over or under. He points up and says over. I see this kid getting a lifetime supply of Trojans after these selections. Matt Barkley and crew put up 6 TD’s and allow 2. Unless something’s changed since I cheated my way through college, more specifically business calculus, that’s 56 points. Pick: Lots of points; protected sex and solid math!

 
 
Picture
Don Trotter is simply magic!
Hey folks, Tom Hammer here, and I'm happy to report that we have a another new segment to offer up to our loyal readers called Leroy's Lounge featuring Don Trotter the pissed off and slightly intoxicated football genius.

Sam Rothstein Jr. published the bookie handbook;  I brought you bracketology 101; and we've commentated on our various tramps to Vegas where we've schooled casino's and patrons a  like on how to celebrate the best, nearly legal, vice that's been brought forth to this earth, GAMBLING! 

We started the lock of the week, and successfully demonstrated a 100% hit rate. (Ed. Note: So what if it was only one post, we hit the hot dog eating contest didnt we!) 

We want to take it a step further, and offer you free of charge, except for the vig we'll charge for laying action at Leroy's, an inside look at one of the midwests top sports bookmakers of all time Don Trotter.  Don is known for his college and pro football prowess.  He has picked more winners and won more money then Don Best and Ace Calhoun combined. (Ed. Note: I couldn't think of another sports handicapper other then Don Best so I went with Ace Calhoun.  I don't know if that is a real guy, but if he is, I'm sure he's a sports handicapper).

Stay tuned for this weeks addition of Leroys Lounge featuring Don Trotters Pissed Off and Slightly Intoxicated football picks. 
 
 
Picture
Born: November 25, 1983 (1983-11-25) (age 25) Vallejo, California Occupation Professional/ Competitive Eater with Major League Eating Spouse(s) none Children none Parents Merlin and Alicia Chestnut

For those that are new to bo hogan consultants.....where the hell have you been??  One absolute essential to living the bo hogan lifestyle is to have an affinity and an affliction, not unlike the super skin tight UFC/MMA shirts, for gambling of any kind.  There is no feeling in the world like putting some heavy timber on some sporting event, a roll of the dice, a flip of the coin or a waitresses age.  The adrenaline rush is like no other and in an instant a Kenny Rogers, type high is achieved.  We at bo hogan consulting do not advocate however, out of control novice gambling where you are wagering your mortgage payment on whether or not the monkey on orangatang island eats his poop (Ed. Note: Sam Rothstein once made such a wager!) Leave that style of betting to the professionals.  At the same time, there is nothing wrong with a friendly wager from time to time.  And if you join any perfectly legal off-shore, only pay with your secret credit card but make sure you've been to Jamaica in the last three years gaming parlor, you should go to the prop bet section where you literally can bet on anything.  There is nothing like placing a dime on who will get kicked off the bachelor.  The beauty of it is, you turn that mundane, over hyped, overtly ridiculous program into can't miss TV where you are screening family members phone calls because the rose ceremony is after the commercial break.  (Ed. Note:  Sorry Mom:(  ) 

As always, there is a topic coming here but I thought I'd set it up because this too soon will be a weekly post just like our T-Mobile spot.  We want to give you a can't miss bet a.k.a a stone cold hammer lock of the week.  This will guarantee to net you big money with one click of the mouse.  If your gaming site doesn't have this bet on their sheets then call up your ex-wife, ex-girlfriend or somebody you want to see lose large sums of money and offer them the bet.  You will be on your way to glory and sacks full of money.  So without further a do.....drum roll please.......uh......drum roll please............HEY D*CK HEAD........drum rolll......thank you!  Here is the Sam Rothstein Jr. Approved Lock of the Week!

BET: In the 2009 Nathans Hot Dog Eating Contest take Joey "Jaws" Chestnut to win -120.
Angle: The money line (-120) is driven by simple supply and demand.  The more people bet on a guy, the worse odds you get.  Chestnut is at -120 and Kobayashi is at -110.  This means to win $100 on Chestnut you have to bet $120.  I think that is a steal.  I know Kobayashi is the man who brought Hot Dog Eating to ESPN but the reality is he has a lingering small intestine issue according to his personal private medical records for which I gave my friend Dr. Grimes $50 for full access to.  Also, Joey Chestnut looks like he could eat mini-horse, from Rob and Big fame, in one sitting while method acting the role of Remi from Apocalypse now.  Lastly, for those that are astute gamblers you know that the only people who actually are betting on Nathans Hot Dog eating contest are casual observers who think it would be funny to bet on it.  So they click on the odds and they see Kobayashi's name and think, I've seen that little Asian guy and he can put down some dogs.  They then throw their nickle on him.  Don't fall for the bait.  Bet on Chestnut to win, and if you are a real gambler like myself, take the over on the total # of hot dogs he'll eat which is probably 60 or so.  The man is hungry.

<div id="bleacher_report"></div>

 
 

March Madness is always an appropriate time to discuss the intricacies of running a successful sports book, especially when the world famous Bookie Handbook has been mentioned in previous Bo Hogan lifestyle Consulting blogs, which are read by literally millions of people a day…  If you are a casual gambler, read no further.  This article is not intended for you and you shouldn’t be visiting this website anyways.  If you enjoy seeing, and subsequently taking down a mark, then you will end this article with a substantially higher understanding of how to do so.  Here a few pieces of advice for you motivated young gamblers out there…

Humble beginnings…
It’s time to start making some money.  Don’t expect or even accept large bets at first.  This is a classic rookie mistake.  Because you haven’t read far enough into this article yet, you don’t know what to do when someone wins a bet you can’t pay!  You might be tempted to actually pay them.  You also are not seasoned enough in your abilities to properly manage your client list and daily bet logs.  Having said all that, why do drug dealers give kids the first batch for free?  Same reason you’ll take small bets (and hope they win by the way)!  Inevitably they’ll ask for payment, at which time you will counter offer with a suggestion they will always love.  “Sure, here’s your money, although if you want I can just put you on a book and then as you continue to win I can pay you in one large lump sum each month”.  They will eat this up, because they will think they are going to win and images of receiving large checks each month will flash across their idiotic and gullible minds.  This will very likely be the last time they ever have reason to expect a payment from you, and will also (unbeknownst to them) be the start of a very dark time in their lives as they continue to escalate bet size to play catch up…


Yes, I can
That’s the answer to the question you will eventually be asked… “Can you take this action?”  Here’s the secret, doesn’t matter if you can or not!  More than likely, it won’t matter because they will lose, they usually do.  If they win, it will inspire confidence that they don’t deserve and they’ll bet more the next time and lose and you’re back in the black.    Over time, this pattern will always lead to good things for you and very, very bad things for them.  If they win and want to then immediately cash out, that’s a different story.  You will probably have to rough them up, or leave town for a while.  They’ve probably paid you enough by now for a nice vacation anyways.

Psychologicalism…
This is a real word used to describe your eventual ability to make people do stupid things, like make a bet with you instead of a website.  A good example would be dropping hints at a great betting opportunity, like “Man, Duke is going to KILL Texas.  I can’t believe that line is so low…”  Then, when they ask what the line is, you take the number of points Duke is favored by and double it, giving Texas twice the advantage they had before.  The mere fact that they asked you what the line was means they didn’t know the answer anyways, so you could say whatever you want!  Then maybe drop one more little piece of bait like “Damn, I shouldn’t have said that in front of you… I guess you can still bet if you want though”.  Now simply look upset with yourself for the gambling advice you’ve just handed out, accept the bet, and collect your money.

Negotiations…
This last tip is not for the newcomer and may apply more to the making, as opposed to taking of bets… Only seasoned professionals like Tom Hammer and myself should attempt it.  You must be armed with numerous stats (real or fake, doesn’t matter unless they can prove otherwise), an argumentative nature, and most importantly a goal bet.  If you know, for example, that Roger Federer is a 2:1 favorite to be the 2009 Wimbledon champion, why not see if you can get 4:1??  Your argument… “2:1 is ridiculous!!! (be emphatic by yelling and hitting something) Federer is injured, hasn’t been playing well lately, has an ugly girlfriend, just flew back from Dubai on the red eye, and can’t beat Nadal!  Come on man… (Attempt to receive sympathy at this point) I need 4:1 or I can’t do it”.  The gambler at this point is forced to make a decision.  Because you said you “can’t” do it, it’s either give you 4:1, or don’t bet.  Gambling is addictive; the thought of not betting is more than likely not an option for the person you’re negotiating with.  You win (unless Federer loses, in which case your points from the argument all look valid and you have better negotiating ground next time). 

Other quick hits:

·      No websites or business cards.  What you’re doing is Illegal, dummy
·      Accept bets on everything… Reality TV, natural disasters, elections, etc…
·      Always claim you don’t keep any of the clients personal information
·      Always keep the clients personal information
·      Have at least one friend who’s willing to claim you have mafia connections
·      Don’t worry about getting the money up front… No one will make huge ridiculous bets if they have to pay for it in advance!
·      Go to Las Vegas a lot.  This isn’t necessary for being a good bookie, but I don’t trust anyone who doesn’t see why this is a good idea…

Penned by:
Sam Rothstein Jr.

 
 

Unless you live in a bomb shelter, or on an Amish farm you are aware that the NCAA tournament has tipped off and March Madness has once again gained a strangle hold on sports fans lives.  Let me just say that I love to gamble, so the NCAA tournament and all the bracket opportunities is like putting one of the biggest loser contestants in a room full of pastries, french fries and un-diet soda!!  You know they're going to eat that sh*t up and that's what I do with these brackets every year.  I devour every statistic known to man, apply complicated scientific formulas, re-read my bookie handbook and watch game film of all 64 teams. I know I'm not alone in my love and passion for the almighty bracket, so I thought I'd take a few moments to hand out some pointers on how to be sure your bracket garners the necessary attention in your office pool.   Follow these tips closely and I'll guarantee you at the very least, you will get double the enjoyment watching the continuous coverage on CBS. 

1.) Always make sure you select teams whose name is a sexual innuendo.  The example here is Morehead St.  How lucky are students that go to Morehead?  I can see the t-shirts on the printing press after their upset of Louisville in the first round.  "Craven Morehead in 2009!" 
2.) Make sure you pick teams whose nickname refers to drug paraphernalia.  The example here is the Zags from Gonzaga.  Fun fact, John Stockton went to Gonzaga way back in the day, and he lived above a bar!!!  What's more impressive, a guy making it to the NBA and breaking the all-time assist record coming from the college of Gonzaga, or a guy making it to the NBA who lived above a bar in college.  Tough pick.
3.) Avoid selecting teams whose name appears as three words on your bracket.  Stephen F. Austin, East Tennessee State, North Dakota State, Cal State Northridge.  Enough said!!  Three names means some guy invented a college and all the normal state names or city names were taken by real colleges so he thought being real specific with the geographical location and/or affiliation to the local municipality would be a good idea.  I'm too lazy to look this up but I'm going to claim that not one team with three names and over has ever won the tournament or probably even a game.
4.) Don't let patriotism influence your bracket.  American will always be a sentimental favorite but there is no way in hell you should risk winning money on a school who felt obliged to name themselves after the country we live in.  I mean, if you really think about it, every school in the bracket could be called American.  You know what makes this situation worse is that American plays in the Patriot league and their school newspaper is the Eagle.  I'm sure their fight song is the star spangled banner for Christ sake. 
5.)  If you are confused on a specific game, give yourself the "where would I rather go party" question and you are almost 100% guaranteed to pick the winner.  I was completely perplexed on Utah vs. Arizona so I posed the mental question.  I'm sure Utah has a pretty campus but I bet their bars suck! 

If you follow these rules and guidelines, and apply the necessary discipline I have no doubts that you will be winners.  In fact, regardless of what the score board reads at the end of the game, in your heart and in your soul you will know that you followed a rigorous process and you are indeed a winner.  At the very least you will be a bigger winner then those losers that went to college at American.  *Note: If you are reading this and went to American I'm sorry.  I tease because I love.

Lastly, from the opening tip I'll be watching like a hawk, living and dieing with each and every play and telling everyone who will listen that I picked the big upset.  I mean, its easy math to figure out that if you do 64 different brackets you have a decent chance of predicting that amazing upset  At any rate, if you are like me, make sure you have the tissues close during one shining moment and join me in prayer as I pray that Billy Packer won't come out of retirement and ruin the national championship game.  Give me Dickie V BABY!!!  "Get this, this kids a diaper dandy, a real high flyer and his moms an engineer, his moms an engineer BABY!!!!!" Amen!!!!!

Penned by:
Tom Hammer