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I am here for two reasons; (1) because I was requested to return by a very dear friend of mine and (2) to set the record straight, directing it toward a certain individual, who not only keeps giving weekly lame ass picks, but continues to post falsified information.  What has been done for the past several weeks is called “he said, she said” in the world of journalism and no real assessment of the truth has been given.  You want the truth?  I think you CAN handle the truth, and the truth is that Don Trotter has not given any true picks for three weeks and stating anything otherwise, especially throwing out "5-11" stats, is completely egregious.  After being viciously attacked by a 4 yrs old a couple weeks back, The Don posted picks that directly contradicted the picks of another poster, “Chaz”.  After that post, I sent a message, via text, to a dear friend of mine, Tom Hammer.  The text read, paraphrasing; "Tom, post this email.  These are not my picks for the week, rather, just having a little bit of fun.  I will send you my true picks later tonight."  In regards to the second set of picks from last week, I sent a message, this time via email, to Tom and another dear friend of mine, Sam.  The email message read, paraphrasing; "Here are some games to consider."  Never did The Don mention that any of those games were true bets that should be made, nor did I instruct the Hammer to post them.  I simply sent an email out to a couple of gambler friends of mine on some games I thought looked interesting and if they liked one of the games, take the bet.  Last week I sent multiple emails out, once again, to Tom and Sam.  Those emails contained winners and one really big winner, my lock; the over in the Purdue/Michigan game.  That particular email read:
 On Fri, Nov 6, 2009 at 11:18 AM, Don <person e-mail removed> wrote:

I will probably shoot you guys another email tonight with some of the games I like, but take that OVER 53 for the Michigan/Purdue game. Michigan’s defense is really bad and I can assure you that their offense will score. The last two games may not seem like a high flying offense, but take it from me; they have turned the ball over seven times in the redzone the last two weeks. They will play good at home against Purdue. Plus, it is going to be a great day tomorrow in Ann Arbor; sunny and 60. Purdue’s spread will score at LEAST 21 points, but probably more like 28 or 35.. Look for Michigan to put up 35 or more.  Last year this game was 42-48.

Emails like that somehow did not find their way to this site, nor did I want them too.  The reasoning for my disappearance was simple; to sit back and watch people like Chaz, who think they know the game of football, to fall completely of their face.  I haven’t sent picks into this site because people like Chaz will jump off my bandwagon after one bad week, and think they can do better.  Well, we’ve seen how that has gone, and to be honest, it’s simply embarrassing.  On the other hand, the people who didn’t come out of the wood work pounding their chest like a “Greek God” thinking they know football, just sat back, relaxed and kindly asked me for picks the following weeks.  Two weeks ago I had a friend call mine call me at  8:00 a.m. on Saturday morning.  He informed me that he had a $1K bankroll and wanted one game.  I told him, paraphrasing; "If I had $1K I would put it all on Texas A&M to cover vs. Iowa St."  The next day I got a text from him stating, and I quote, "Thank you very much! You da-man!!".  This past week, I gave him the over in the Purdue/Mich game & Stanford to cover vs. Oregon.  Not only did I get that same text message again, but $100 showed up in the mail for me with a note that read; “Thx for digging me out of the hole from earlier in the year.”

 
So, what does this all mean?  Well, in short; I'm fucking good.  During Saturday's & Sunday's text messages poor into my phone because true gamblers, needing one game to make their weekends, crave The Don’s advice. I have a greater plethora of clients than you can possibly fathom.  People weep for my picks and curse people like Chaz because they don’t have the luxury, the luxury of knowing what I know; that every week people like Chaz will kill your bank roll with 1-4 weeks, while my picks, no matter how grotesque and incomprehensible they may seem, will increases it.  People don’t want advice from turds like Chaz.  Deep down they want my advice, they need my advice.  I use words like parlay, teaser and locks.  I use these words as a backbone to win money. People like Chaz uses them as a punch-line.  I have neither the time or inclination to explain myself to a person who has to shave his back or has NEVER played a down of true organized football in his entire life.  I would rather him just say “thank you” for being 3-1 in my locks on this site and went on his way, otherwise I suggest he stop conjuring up falsified information, stats and complete horseshit so he can make himself feel and look better, even though he is an atrocious 6-9 the last three weeks and doesn’t even give locks, which are the sole of true gambler and what his life relies on.


I know more about the game of football than anybody who reads this site.  I can tell you where the hot route is on a specific blitz, what play the quarterback should check to, where he should go with the ball and what linebacker the running-back is responsible for.  I can tell you what the field side corners responsibility is if number one runs a vertical in quarters coverage.  I can tell you how many drop steps a quarterback should take on every given route and how many gather and hitch steps.  If you want to know what the progression reads are on the strong safety and sam backer on a y-stick h-flat 65, I can tell you.  If you want to know where the weakness is in a two-deep zone vs. an empty set, I can tell you.  I can tell you who the Y should pick on a rub route out of a trips set on a 99 sprint option right.  Basically, if you want to know football, just ask me.  If you want your bankroll to be higher off my overall 6-1 locks, then listen to me.  On the other hand, if you want loser picks, like Michigan to beat Illinois or completely comical information like, “Beaver Stadium is the most intimidating atmosphere in college football” when they are 0-2 at home vs. non Akron and Syracuse teams, then ask somebody else. 

I will give my picks again this week.  Tak’em if you like’em.  If you don’t, that’s cool too.

Stay tuned.

 
 
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I'm going to offer up a little something different this week.  Feel free to play along.  And as always, these are just my picks.  If you like'm, take'em, if not, that's cool too.

I am going to run a 6 game, 7pt teaser, laying $100 which pays out $500.  My last pick is the one I feel pretty confident about.  Overall this year, some posted on this site and some not, I am 6-1 on my locks.

Notre Dame +7 vs. Pitt.
Put the 7 on ND and take it to 14
Notre Dame has been in every single game they have played and their three losses have all come on last second plays.  Their biggest margin of defeat was 7 to USC.  Last week, they turned the ball over three times in the red-zone, one on the 1 yard line, and they also missed two field goals.  If they don’t self destruct they easily beat Navy and I think the line this game is more like 2 than 7.  I like ND to cover 14 points against a Pitt team that has played close games against average teams like Rutgers and UConn.  I have watched this Pitt team multiple times and aside from their freshman running-back, who is pretty solid, I think this team is a bit overrated.  Notre Dame will be the best offense they have played to date and with Casey Clausen throwing to Tate and Flyod, no matter how many points Pitt can score, I think that offense can match.  ND may not pull out the victory, but I am betting on the trend of that they have shown in every single game this year, keep it close until the last seconds of the game.

OSU -16.5 vs. Iowa
Put the 7 on OSU and take it to 9 ½
I know, I know, TP sucks.  I realize this.  But the Sweater finally got his head out of his ass last week and finally called plays that suit the kid, which is safe percentage passes to their playmakers like Posey.  However, even if Pryor regresses again, it won't make a difference in this game.  Iowa's back-up QB is in for a world of hurt and will be like a deer in head lights after the second snap.  OSU’s defense has been playing great all year and they will feast on this new kid.  To make matters worse, Iowa doesn't have a run game, down to their 3rd string running back.  With the Big Ten championship on the line and the a Rose Bowl birth in sight, I think a pretty easy win maybe in store for the Yuckeyes.  I don’t like the 16.5 but I sure do like them by 10 or a couple scores.  I am counting on a couple turnovers and maybe even a special teams score by Ray Small.

Georgia Tech -12.5 vs. Duke
Take Tech and bring it down to 5 ½
I have always loved betting on teams that run the triple option.  I have won some good money on both Tech and Navy this year.  Although Tech played a below average Wake Forest team close last week in an overtime win, that may serve as a little wakeup to not overlook anybody on their schedule.  Duke on the other hand, although much better than years past, hasn’t played top opponents well, with losses to both  Va. Tech and North Carolina.  I usually stay away from betting against dogs playing at home, but Tech has a 4-0 record on the road this year.  I like Nesbitt  and Dwyer run for more than a 6 point victory.

 
Arkansas -13.5 vs. Troy
Take the 7 on Arkansas, take it down to 6 ½
I have taken Arkansas a lot this year and out of their last 7 games, they have covered for me 6 times.  I have taken them as favorites and underdogs.  Ryan Mallett and that offense can flat out score some points.  Typically I am a little wary of games like this, a non-conference opponent late in the season, however Arkansas isn't coming off a huge win against a big rival and they don't have a real big game after this one, so I see no real reason for them to overlook Troy.  They are playing at home, where they have only lost one game in a shoot out vs. Georgia.  Troy is a team who got spanked 56-7 by Florida, a team Arkansas dam near beat.  Even though Troy has won seven straight games, those games have been against teams like Middle Tenn St, Western Kentucky and North Texas.  If Troy doesn't play a cake schedule, this spread may be in the 20's.  I like Arkansas to play this game like and SEC game and come out with a pretty big win.  They just put up 33 points on a very talented South Carolina defense at home and I see no reason they can't do that against a team from the Sun Belt Conference. 

New England +3 vs. Indy
Put the 7 on NE and take it to 10
I don't know who will win but I would be shocked if NE gets beat by more than 10 points.  I am not a huge stats guy, but over the past three years, when Tom Brady is the starting quarterback for the New England Patriots, they have lost 1 game by more than 10 points.  Indy is hurting defensively, with both Marlin Jackson and Bob Sanders out.  NE can and will score with Indy, who hasn't exactly been lighting the world on fire offensively, with San Francisco and Houston both leading in the fourth quarter the last two games.  I always tell Hammer and Sam that I never bet against Peyton Manning or Tom Brady because they can change the game in a blink of an eye.  With both teams playing each other though, all bets are off on that statement.  I am going with my gut on this, and 10 points is just too much to pass on.  If any team in the NFL is not intimidated by playing in Indianapolis vs. Peyton Manning it’s Tom Brady, Bill Bel-a-cheat and the New England Patriots.

 Pittsburg -7 vs. Cincinnati
Put the 7 on the Steelers and take it down to a pick’em
The Steelers may have played the best defensive football I have seen all year with their second half performance in Denver last week.  Right now, defensively I don’t know if there is anybody better in the NFL.  Their offense is producing big chunks of yards, both through the air and the ground.  Mendenhall looks great, Big Ben looks great and their receivers; Holmes, Ward and the speed killer Wallace are doing a great job with yac.  I know the Bengals are playing good football behind a new running game with C. Benson, but I don’t see them rolling into steel town to pull this one out.  The Bengals may have pulled out some late game heroics in their first meeting, but Troy Polamalu was not playing in that game, which makes a huge difference (just ask Denver).  I think the Steelers payback their rival and win this game. 

LOCK:
Miami -10 vs. Tampa Bay
Miami has played every team on their schedule extremely tough this year, including  very good teams like Indy, New England and New Orleans.  I really like betting on teams that are consistent and the Miami is exactly that.  They don’t overlook their opponents, are stingy as hell defensively and nobody has been able to stop their running game.  The rookie Josh Freeman played last week for Tampa and got a pass because nobody had film on him.  Coach Tony Sparano may be one of the most underrated coaches in the league and will pressure the new kid relentlessly.  He will study that film and understand what the kids strengths and weaknesses are.  Miami pounds everybody in the league with their run, and have plowed over teams like the Jets, who own the best defense in the league statistically.  Tampa is at the bottom of the league in all areas across the board both offensively and defensively.  Tampa Bay will get very tired, very fast trying to stop that run game Miami will throw at them.  Plus, don’t be surprised if Tedd Ginn doesn’t play a big part in special teams.  I would be very surprised if Miami doesn't win this game by 14 or more.
 
 
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The Midwestern United States mornings are turning colder; frost has set in, the crops are being harvested, and hundreds of whitetail deer are being trucked on the asphalt everyday.  Rural Ohio is f*cking sweet!!!!!!!
 
As a guy in the midst of a marital break up I constantly look to Speedman and Trotter’s picks as a small bright spot in my otherwise dismal existence.  Not only are these guys genius (LMFAO) handicappers, but they are proven lifestyle consultants.  A guy in my position…….you know………nearing middle age, ending a dysfunctional relationship, looking for a hot broad to “beat cakes” with, and trying to dodge the stigma of degenerate loser needs the humor laced excitement that Hogan’s top Cappers can offer.
 
I remember the first time I spied Don Trotter.  State hoops tournament in a drunken state. The guy has a neck that looks like a  graphic relief map of Tibet.  I could stop staring at him as he ranted about the many merits of Ann Arbor’s Jr. Pop Warner football squad.  
This guy’s intensity made Stripes Seargent Hulka and  The Great Santini’s Lt. Col. “Bull” Meechum seem like she-male submissive trannys looking to get probed in the rusty sheriff’s badge.
 
I had more lifestyle training from Speedman.  I consider the guy a friend.  I’m a protégé to his mastery.  I hope I make you proud, Mr. Clean!  This guy has intensity too, but I think his is brilliantly thought out and calculated.  He and I cut up Key West like Escobar began cutting up the Columbian Bam-Bam.  Chazz loves action.  He is passionate about bookmaking like he is about whores.  Sure he goes through stretches when he loves the gothic minxes, but who doesn’t……………Dark clothing, horrible looking make-up, abhorrent piercings, and the worst looking Dr. F*cking Martens on Earth.  I get it, afterall tail = tail!
 
Again, as a fellow with Midwestern ties I find myself gravitating towards Big 10 football.  I can’t stay away from Notre Dame or Kansas either?  Have you seen their respective coaches, “ A Wimp and a Blimp”….props to you Babs Jansen (Animal House in Reference to Flounder and Pinto).  Finally, I have to illustrate the beauty that is Appalachia.
 
Speedman says: These are 5 games I assure you none of you will watch.
 
Alright C*NTS, lets get to these picks:
 

University of Michigan @ University of Wisconsin -8.5
 
Wisconsin may have the biggest corn fed boys in all of the FBS.  Einstein like Dick-Rod decided to go with a heavier conditioning routine in an attempt to increase speed and agility.  Have you seen the UM defense?  Think of Jody Foster vs. a posse of ruffians in a dimly lit honky tonk………If you are envisioning her chasis bent over a (really cool) vintage pinball machine having all dignity removed stroke by stroke………..we are on the same page.  UM will get slapped around in this one too.  Take “Jump Around”, the rowdy band, and all the drunks in Camp Randall in this match up.  Um falls to 5-6 and being a “Michigan Man” is about as special as being voted to be the next actor in a snuff film.  Speedman is supportive in this pick.  I mean, the guy drinks Fiji bottled water.  Don’t bet against a man at such a lofty social status!
 
Speedman says: A $3.00 bottle of water shows that I enjoy the finer things in life, such as Budweiser in Cans, Jagerbombs, Cheese Curds and girls who are solid 4’s & 5’s. I’ve been to Camp Randle, it’s nice, especially all the 3’s and 4’s. I agree Wisconsin and the points.
 

Notre Dame @ Pittsburgh
 
Hey ND and Northern Indiana in general:  Stick to making top quality mobile homes and fifth wheels because your football team SUCKS!!!!!!! F*cking Purdue has bigger wins this year than You do.  Oh, but the mystique, the tradition, the four horsemen….blah, blah, blah.  University of Pittsburgh is favored by a touchdown and is a lead pipe lock.  Dion Lewis is a 5’8”  Freshman running back for the Panthers.  He’ll get loose like Charlie Weis does at Thornton Melon’s Tall & Fat stores and will run roughshod through the Irish defense.  He is half the size of Chuckles Weiss and as elusive too.  Picture this………Weis is smuggling his third Primanti Brothers Panini of the night into bed.  His old lady comes in and in a panic Chuck decides to hide it under one of his many folds.  Dion Lewis will hide behind Pitt’s large OL and then dash to the end zone.  Bill Stull should have his way with the molasses slow DB’s of the ND secondary too.  Dave “push-broom” Wannstedt makes Pitt fans love him more deeply after the Panthers molest the Irish in front of a National television audience on ABC.  Hey Speedman, I love the way the Flozell collection has worked out for Charlie.  The GUNT series was perfect for him just as it was for the original Chazz B.
 
Speedman says: Flozell Adams created a clothing line for men over 500 lbs. Mangino and Weis are the picture of perfect health and fitness in America. What must the parents of their recruits think when these two mounds of lard walk in? I know what I’d be thinking, hide the pork reins. Wannstedt has the ultimate push-broom duster. His facial hair is third behind D-backs pitcher Clay Zavada and Oklahoma QB Landry Jones. If Jimmy the Greek were alive to talk about race relations and  Pitt football I think he would say something similar to: “I like Pitt and Wannstedt’s caterpillar mustache to cover the spread 31-17.” RIP Jimmy...
 
 
University of Nebraska (-4) @ Kansas University
 
Mark Mangino has an appetite…..not exactly breaking news, I know.  This guy makes Ralph Friedgen and Tom Amstutz look as diminutive as the Kenyan marathon team.  The Basketball and Football teams are feuding on the Lawrence, Kansas campus while Mangino is hammering all the game footage and KC BBQ his boiler can handle.  Hopefully everything in the film room is covered in gore-tex as I bet this guy sweats in bucket-fuls as he gnashes.  Bo Pelini better hope Mark does not get the itch to chow during the post game handshake because I like Mangino in that match up.  Nebraska is coming off a tough win vs. OU last week.  I think they come in flat vs. the Fighting Fat F*cks.  KU takes advantage of a mediocre effort and wins against the once vaunted “blackshirts” defensive unit.  Not even dressing like Wiliam Belicheck and his other disciples (Weiss and McDaniel) will help the Big Red.  Fat jokes aside, Man-gina is the owner of a great offensive mind.  I believe he uses it to keep the Nebraska D off balance while allowing his own O to light up the scoreboard.
 
Speedman says: A few years I invented a drinking game called Mangino. The rules are quite simple: Put on a Kansas Football game, every time you see Mangino you drink. The cameramen can’t get enough of this progressive eater. His enormous stature and gator arms are something to behold. I got hammered the night I came up with the concept, called a girl a C U Next Tuesday at the bar, threatened to fight her boyfriend (and possibly the girl…), took my shirt off, drove to Giant Eagle and gave my neighbors a yard job. With that said I’m going with the Huskers to cover 28-21.
 


Sparty (-2.5) vs. Boilermakers
 
Rossade Stadium is the home to a “pick ‘em match up, in my opinion.  I can’t figure out either of these teams. Based on the line, I don’t even know if Jimmy “the Greek” Snyder would touch this one.  F*ck it……..I roll with Trotter and Speedman.  I’m confident in my picks because I base them on my wack ass thoughts.  Honestly, I cannot type a sentence without thinking about golf or internet porn.  I have the attention span of a four year old ADHD suffered tethered to a Ritalin Salt lick.  
Dantonio is the head coach of a Jekyll and Hyde team every goddamn Autumn.  They kick ass and get their asses kicked.  Purdue isn’t a lot different.  They lose to NW and then handle Ohio State and their over-f*cking-rated quarterback for sixty minutes. I believe that Purdue does MSU like they did Richard Rodriguez’s cream puffs last week……Deep forced anal.  A train isn’t scary, well maybe it is too some women, perhaps we should stick with the “Choo Choo” mascot variety, but a loss to Purdue should be if you’re a Spartan fan.  I really like them at home vs. MSU
 
Speedman Says: If you thought this was the worst game on the slate for Saturday, think again. (see below) Joey Elliott looks like Drew Brees one game and Drew Bledsoe the next. Danny Hope looks like a cop, I hate cops. Trotter hates cops, he really hates cops. I saw Trotter get taken down by the fuzz twice. I’ll let him tell the story. Dantonio is wearing out his welcome in Lansing b/c his team sucks. I like Purdue to go “Greek” on Sparty by a score 24-17.
 

University of Kentucky (-3) vs. Vanderbilt
 
I have family in Lexington.  I’ve had some great times in the Commonwealth as well.  Their football team is a perennial doormat in the SEC, but I think they can get over on Vandy.  Vanderbilt University holds Ivy league type academic status in the SEC, but sadly their athletes cannot compete with graphing calculators or scanning electron microscopes on the gridiron.  Rich Brooks is about as ragged out as Annabel Chong was after she established her 251 man gang bang record.  My old roommate still has that Hustler…..Circa 1995 I believe.  Brooks is still capable of leading the “Cats past the Commodores though.  I bet the tailgating at this annual match up is sweet.  Rhodents, vermin, and trash can raiding critters are cooked over an open fire.  Fiddles and banjoes are strummed and harmonica groups play through toothless smiles.  Grain alcohol is sucked down with the voracity a 10 hundred Indians! The Hatfields and McCoys get together once a year and this ain’t the crowd that is rocking porcelain veneers, cosmetically enhanced sweater puppets, or designer gear.  You can be a fan for any team in Appalachia as long as you’re sporting your hunting gear including blaze orange and Mossy Oak/Real Tree Camouflage.  This game is like homecoming for the “dentally and chromosomally challenged”.  I’d love to see a 4 team playoff every year during Deer season for the Hill-Jack Cup.  West Virginia, Tennessee, Kentucky, and Vanderbilt would be the only participants.  I’m not sure what part of the Appalachian Mountain foothills Ned Beatty was corn-holed in, but Appalachian people are, well…….interesting.  Hillbillies know how to party and Vanderbilt knows how to lose.  Take UK to beat the Commodores on Saturday.
 
Speedman says: I love Joker Phillips. Any human that you meet named Joker is easily the coolest guy in the room. Unfortunately for Joker, Rich Brooks is still the head coach. Can anyone name a player on Vanderbilt’s team? That’s what I thought. Kentucky wins 4-0 and those in attendance have their eyes scooped out with a spoon.
 
Bo Hogan followers,
 
I hope you have enjoyed my initial foray into the college football picks.  Thanks again to Masters Speedman and Trotter.  Reading your offerings this year has inspired a douchebag like me to attempt putting my pen to paper.
 
Yours Truly,
 
Howie Feldersnatch
Faber College 1996
 
 
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When people ask me to describe myself I typically respond with same honest and candid answer: I’m the hero and villain. I play both sides against each other. I debate myself constantly. I’m articulate yet crude, vain yet self loathing. I’m proud and indolent at the same time. In other words, I am the most interesting man in the world. Not some jackass drinking a Dos Equis in a canoe surrounded by 2 eastern bloc hookers. Try drinking Absinthe at a strip club in Canada for $25 a shot. Then get fleeced for 50 bucks by a couple of Mounties after you punch a drunken pig’s mini-van for almost running you over. Who’s interesting mother f***ker, I am.So let’s recap last week’s games. Yours truly went 2-3. Not up to my usual standards but like I said before I hate gambling on Halloween. Michigan loses to badly to one of the worst teams in America. The worst team in college football, Miami of Ohio, wins. Then Tennessee shows up wearing black jerseys. South Carolina fumbles on their first 2 possessions inside the 20 and win. If there is a lesson to be learned it is do not gamble on Halloween. Just ask Don Trotter who went 3-7. If you’re keeping score, I know I am, Don is 5-11 over the past two weeks. I’ve heard Don has been watching “The Deer Hunter” a lot lately and might be on his way to ‘Nam.

That brings me to another installment of how can I make you rich without working. Commit these lyrics to memory this weekend, “I’m on a boat and it’s going fast and I got a nautical themed Pashmina Afghan, I’m the king of the world, on a boat like Leo, if you’re on the shore, then you’re sure not me, oh, get the f**k up, this boat is real.”


Houston vs Tulsa (-1.5)

Last week Case Keenum threw for 551 yards and covered the spread with a last second touchdown over Southern Miss. That brought a smile to face as well as my bank account. This week Las Vegas hates the Cougars. I have a friend who hates a certain Cougar. It’s his future ex-mother in law. His younger brother banged her silly. I apologize for the rant. Houston wins this game by 7 and so do you. After this victory I’d suggest hitting your local 40’s plus bar such as Polo’s on Bethel Ave for a Cougarific time.


New Mexico vs Utah (-.27.5)

First off, I hate Mormon’s. A religion that gives out magic underwear is questionable. New Mexico is very bad and Utah might be one of the better one loss teams in the country. Let’s not forget they knocked off Alabama last year in the Sugar Bowl. Utah has made a switch at QB which makes me a little leery. But this is called gambling for a reason. Joe Pesci says, “the two Utes.” I don’t know what the hell that means but I like it. Utah wins with their magic panties 41-0.


Illinois vs Minnesota (-6.5)

The Minnesota Golden Gophers, who can figure this team out? Illinois and “Fat Head” Juice Williams decide to play their best game of the year against Michigan last week. Minnesota is one win away from being bowl eligible. They have motivation, a new stadium and terrible uniforms. If you decide to invest 3 hours and actually watch this game you better do copious amounts of Special K. For those of you not into the “scene” it’s Ketamine. I dated a girl once who used Special K; she’s probably dead by now or she’s staring at a ceiling fan. Any who bet the Gophers to win 23-10.


Florida State vs Clemson (-8.5)

World famous gum chewer/defensive coordinator Mickey Andrews is calling it quits. He’s coached 18 first round draft picks, including Deion Sanders. Deion once told an automobile body shop that instead of paying $4265.57 thatJesus told him to only pay $1500, true story. The case went to court and Deion won. Who knew Jesus was an insurance adjuster? Clemson has CJ Spiller, he’s fast, and head coach Dabo Sweeney. Dabo is a big league turd. I think Clemson wins but its close and close means FSU Covers. Go with God…and the Seminoles.


Penn State vs Ohio State (+3.5)

I hate picking for teams I root for. As if my involvement in the game needs to be heightened with a grand or two riding on the outcome. The shear enjoyment of my team winning should be enough. However we live in capitalist society where money means everything and Firefly is 5.50 a glass. I’ve studied this game long and hard, much like Peter North’s ability to shoot a jizz rope out of his pee hole. Beaver (Beavis and Butthead laugh) Stadium is the most intimidating atmosphere in college football. Terrelle Pryor throws like Lamar Latrell from Revenge of the Nerds fame. Pryor spent his off-season at “Jail House Tats,” refining his street cred. That alone will catapult you into the first round of the draft. “The hell with mechanics or footwork, I got a T and a P on my triceps.” The brotha makes this white boy Oprah Rich with 3 turnovers; PSU wins 27-6.